Sep 24, 2014

Paula Deen: I needed doctor's care during scandal


Air kisses to the crew are better than tears, right?

If you're Paula Deen, that makes sense.

The embattled celeb chef started her latest "Today" show interview with some ephemeral on-set affection as she sat down with Matt Lauer to once again discuss her horrible, no-good, very bad year triggered by her admitted use of a racial slur.

This time, she was in much better spirits, laughing and smiling and telling Lauer that she doesn't even recognize herself in that infamous interview. When Lauer reveals that she couldn't even stand to watch the clip, Deen admitted: "I looked at none of it, Matt, because I didn't recognize that woman. That was a woman in trauma, in, I would say, shock, trying to understand what had happened. The cold, hard fact is I probably should not have been here. I probably should have been at home, maybe even under the care of a doctor."

When Lauer asks if she understands why so many of her major sponsors dropped her, Deen says she gets it, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt: "I did, but I have to say it took me a while, because I was confused as to the length of time since those words had been part of a language — I had a hard time understanding, because it had been 30 years. … I absolutely understood it, but I had to go home, sit on my sofa and get off the merry-go-round. I had to remove myself and sit quietly, so that I could think and see things from all angles."

So, did any of her friends turn their backs on her during the scandal?

"Individuals? Not one. I have never had anyone come up to me and be anything other than kind and loving."

Has the experience made her more guarded?

"I've always been very, very naive. Unless you do something that I can see that you're trying to hurt me, in my heart, you're good. That's childlike and it's naive. I'm trying to be more guarded. I don't ever want to get to the point where I'm cynical, because I believe there are more good people than bad."

Then she spends the rest of the interview talking about avoiding internet trolls, promoting her new digital venture, Paula Deen Network and realizing the power of words. She also gives another apology for the hurt she's caused. Watch below.

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