Old people love to tell other people’s business without a single care in the world. And why should they care? They’re old as hell, so there has to be a certain reverence from anyone their junior. Well, if you were raised right, you show respect to the AARP demo, but even if you don’t, they don’t give a shit ’cause they’re old.
The legendary Norman Lear, 94, is proof of this after he revealed that Jimmie Walker is dating professional surly-person Ann Coulter. The disclosure came during a conversation between Lear and Black-ish creator Kenya Barris. I know, I know. I’m not sure if I suddenly have Helen Keller-envy my damn self, but hold on, there is more.
Lear dropped this nugget while discussing Walker’s role as J.J. Evans on Good Times: “I love him; he’s a wonderful guy, but I’ll tell you something about him that’ll astound you: He dates Ann Coulter.”
You say astound, I say disgust, but Lear continued. “I’ve sat with him at a table for an entire evening,” he explained, before adding that Walker and Coulter have been dating “for some time.” Lear said Coulter has turned out to be “a dreamy, delicious, sweet person.”
Lear is testing me with the use of these adjectives to describe a woman who is more or less a boil on the butt of basic human decency. But that aside, this pairing isn’t as odd as it seems (no matter how gross it rightfully sounds to you).
J.J. Evans may have been the original Raphael de la Ghetto, but Jimmie Walker attends the same school of thought as Ben Carson, Armstrong Williams, Clarence Thomas and other right-leaning black men I would trade in for a package of turkey jerky.
In 2012, while promoting his book, Dyn-o-MITE, Walker spoke with CNN, and when asked if he felt disappointment over purportedly not being completely accepted by the black community, he answered:
No, because as you move on and do other things, you stop working in front of black crowds anyway. Bill Cosby doesn’t really have a black following. I call myself the Johnny Mathis of comedy because I don’t do the black thing.
During that same promotional tour, Walker had this to say on The O’Reilly Factor about former President Barack Obama:
Barack Obama is more like a Tony [Robbins] type of guy. You feel real good and happy and everything and then you go home and there’s a foreclosure sign on your door. And you just go, “Wait a minute. I just had this great meeting with this guy. He made me feel real good.” And I don’t think he’s a bad guy. I don’t think he’s a good guy for the job we have to do.
Now I see why John Amos and Esther Rolle had the “Nigga, don’t ever call me” stance with him.
Days before that, Walker told The Wrap:
People will laugh, but we need a guy like Donald Trump now because America has become a business.
God. Does that mean that Walker and Coulter have sex to coverage of Sunkist Stalin’s rallies? Is that their entertainment porn?
And do they sit back and argue over who’s the worst waste of the gift of life? What does BernNadette Stanis think of all of this? Is Booga still alive? If so, please tell me that he’s not a conservative itching to go on a double date with one of those nitwits from Fox & Friends?
As much as I revere Norman Lear, I think I deserve a residuals check from his stash to mend my emotional wounds and potentially exploded head over J.J. from Good Times dating the person who bullied the velociraptors from Jurassic Park.
Feel free to join me in the comments section with a brown paper bag to vomit in. I mentioned a brown paper bag because I’m sure these two bond over not voting for anyone who passes the test. Dyn-o-MITE or whatever, y’all.